Studying Abroad: A Nightmare Dressed Like a Dream

Nowadays the idea of studying abroad is indeed a dream for most youngsters. Getting to know people from different cultures, experiencing new lifestyle, travelling, and acquiring education in a new environment are appealing to most individuals. However, is moving to a foreign country worth it? Well, there is no wrong answer or right answer to this question. It completely depends on the person and their mindset.

I personally don’t think leaving your home at a young age is a great idea despite the fact that you get to see the real world and learn the ways of the world. Most students leave for their undergraduate program and the parents usually have to sell off their properties in order to financially support their children. Coming from a third world country and doing my undergraduate program in Canada, I can tell that it needs a lot of courage and mental preparation before stepping into the land of the unknown.

Even though studying overseas can be rewarding, it still comes with big challenges and struggles. One of the biggest challenges one needs to overcome while studying abroad is homesickness. I know it sounds scary and you don’t want to hear this before embarking on a new journey. However, we all need to face reality at some point and why not be prepared beforehand. Let me tell you a bit of how it went for me the first time and is still going.

My heart ached from leaving my family behind as I boarded the plane to start a new life overseas. As I took my seat and prepared myself for the voyage ahead, I couldn't help but go back to the heartbreaking goodbyes from the airport. My mother and sister couldn’t stay strong anymore and finally gave in when it was time for me to go the immigration. On the other hand, my father did not let his emotions take over and rather encouraged me to enjoy the journey and stay strong. Honestly, I was completely numb the whole time but the emotions hit me the moment the plane took off. I could feel the pain of leaving my people and country behind but I could do absolutely nothing up in the air neither I could take a step back from this big decision.

When I arrived in the brand-new city where I would continue my education, the strange sights and sounds overwhelmed me. I felt even more alone in this strange place because it seemed like there were whispers of home everywhere I looked.

I frequently found myself yearning for my family's hug as I struggled to adjust to a new lifestyle and culture. I developed a lonely routine of studying late into the night in my small rented room, with the only sound coming from my room is the lectures I am listening to. Otherwise, the sounds I get to hear is the clock ticking and the cars passing by, at times I could listen to my own heartbeat. The silence that I have been yearning for all these years didn’t seem peaceful at all. The only sound that fills me with joy is the video call I get from my family.

I had a sobering realization that the freedom I had long craved didn't provide the bliss I had anticipated. I struggled with a sensation of emptiness that persisted despite the lack of restrictions in the midst of my newfound independence. I would look at my phone every time I am out expecting my mom to bombard me with calls. I would expect my dad to open the door for me and ask me “where have you been?” when I got home. I would expect my sister to ask me change in the bathroom and refuse to get out of the room but then I realize now I have a room all to myself. Literally everything reminded me of home and the warmth in their anger.

Cooking by myself in the small kitchen as an international student turned into a nostalgic routine. The air was heavy with the sizzling of oil and the perfume of spices, but they were unable to quell my need for the flavors of home, the warmth of family feasts, and the laughter of loved ones. Especially on Fridays, homesickness would weigh heavy on my tiny heart reminiscing our small family celebration on every Friday. My mom would make different kinds of dishes starting from Biryani, Polao, Korma, Beef Curry, Mom’s special sweet chili chicken to pudding, custard, etc. My family would sit down together and enjoy the delicious meal prepared by mom, and then spend the whole day together.

The days dragged on, full with opportunities but lacking the satisfaction I had dreamed of. I felt as though every alone time I spent increased the emptiness inside me, making me yearn for the cozy warmth of company and the comforts of home.

I am after 1.5 years still unable to get rid of the sensation that I am only a bystander in my own life as Iwalk through the busy streets and vivid city life. The alluring nightlife and the laughter of others were sharp reminders of the hollowness that tore at my soul. No matter where I go in this quest for knowledge and making a name for myself, my mind always takes me back to my family I have left behind, and the sounds of love that would always bind us together.

Studying overseas can be a thrilling and life-changing experience that provides chances for intellectual enrichment, cultural immersion, and personal development. Nevertheless, it also presents a unique set of difficulties, such as adjusting to new surroundings, dealing with homesickness, and handling academic pressure.What matters is that you learn to build yourself in complete independence and establish an identity. So, all these sacrifices will be paid off once you decide to push through those obstacles and keep persevering.

Author: She is an International student studying Honours in Labor Studies at the Brock University, Canada and Administrative Assistant at the Entrepreneurs’ Club of Toronto.