Khalil Daroga's sneeze

“By mistake, Khalil Daroga’s life went out with the sneeze, or instead of releasing germs with the sneeze, Khalil Daroga by mistake released his life” – these words or words of this kind first came out from the mouth of a constable in Khalil Daroga’s office.

The words that came out from the constable’s mouth immediately entered the ears of all other people in whispers and at the same time also came out from their eyes and mouths and entered through the ears of other people and came out through their eyes. When they came out through the eyes, the eyes were a little wide open. From this, it was understood that half of the spoken words came out through the man’s eyes, and when the almost-sound ‘O’ came out through the mouth, it was understood that the other half of the words came out through the mouth.

“By mistake, Khalil Daroga has released his life with the sneeze.” These words or similar words entered people’s ears, split into two parts, and came out in whispers through their eyes and mouths, increasing the activity of the air. The words had to be emphasised repeatedly to make the air carry them around. Khalil Daroga was not the kind of person to be mistaken about himself, yet hearing that he would release his life along with a sneeze surprised everyone. The surprises accumulated, forming a mountain of astonishment.

When I heard the words, I had gone to buy bananas from the elderly woman who sells bananas every day in front of Rana’s shop in Haldar Para. After the previous person finished buying bananas, when I was about to look at the banana seller and her bananas, I noticed that she was looking downwards, that is, at the banana stalk, as if applying the words above, that is, “By mistake, Khalil Daroga has released his life with the sneeze”, to the bananas. She was sticking these words or similar words to all the bananas. Even while bargaining with me and putting the bananas into my bag, she kept doing so.

I couldn’t understand what words she was sticking onto the bananas, so I said to the banana seller, ‘Don’t stick words on the bananas like this, just tell me, Bapu, what’s going on?’

Then the elderly woman was startled and looked at me. She did not realise that I had seen or understood that she was sticking words onto the bananas. She had thought that I didn’t understand the matter; but when she realised, she was shocked immediately. At the moment I spoke and she was startled, the scene was like this — my bag was open to put the bananas inside, her hand holding the bananas was still, right above the open bag, and upon hearing my words her mouth was open and she was looking at me with that open mouth. My open bag, her open mouth, and in between, her still hand with the bunch of bananas.

After such a moment ended, she moved suddenly, took the words off the bananas and said to me, “I heard that Khalil Daroga has gone out from inside with the sneeze; Khalil Daroga’s skin is left in the room of the police station where he sits.”

As soon as the words entered my ears, they tried to split and come out through my eyes and mouth, but I did not allow them to do so.

I return home and hand the shopping bag to my wife. I secretly touch my wife’s hand so that it seems as if I have touched it unintentionally. A new lover touches any part of his beloved’s hand or body like this. My wife is startled by this kind of touch and looks at me with a strange expression. I had touched her hand not to be a lover, but perhaps to see if I am alive.

Our eldest son, Basedur, who is a tenth grader, comes out of the study room and tears off a banana from the bunch in his mother’s bag, peels it, and as he bites and swallows it, he begins to speak. The banana is going inside him, and a word is coming out from within him. The path for the banana going in and the word coming out is the same. Because of the pressure between his teeth and tongue-palate, the melted banana and the outgoing words meet or collide, or the banana and the words have some conversation or argument about giving way, so I cannot understand what Basedur is saying.

I tell him, “Swallow the banana first, then speak; what are you saying?”

So, the banana wins halfway down the throat and enters first, and then the words come out afterwards — “Father, Khalil Daroga, while sneezing, by mistake, has given his life, hasn’t he?”

When the words came out of my son’s mouth, I was surprised and suspected that the banana seller had not properly removed the words she had smeared on the bananas, or had not removed them from all the bananas. I got angry with her. As soon as the banana was put into his mouth, Khalil Daroga’s words began to act inside my son. I went out of the house again, intending to catch the banana seller at the market; to tell her two things.

On the way, I met Soleman from Jamkuti village. He was coming back from the market, playing a radio. His radio was playing a Hindi song, and Soleman’s mind and head were nodding in rhythm.

As soon as he saw me, he said, “Brother, the pleasure of film songs is something else, brother.”

I said, “Forget all that, there is something I want to say, turn off the radio.”

He said, “Brother, the gentleman who is singing now is a great artist. If I turn off the radio, how will he sing? And if I turn it off to listen to you, then he will have to wait again a long time to sing. Or that great artist will feel insulted. Of course, they are noble people; they won’t feel insulted. No, even if they do, I have some sense; it would be rude to stop such a great artist’s song immediately. Don’t you see how beautifully he is singing even after death, giving people joy? People are enjoying it.”

I paid attention to the song on his radio. Sachin Dev Burman was singing. Truly, Sachin Karta was a great man. He was singing. To stop him halfway would indeed be very rude. When I stepped aside, Sachin Karta continued singing, and Soleman again started nodding his head as before.

I began walking again towards the market. My purpose was not much. To tell the banana seller why she had stuck the words ‘Khalil Daroga’s life went out with his sneeze’ on the bananas. My walking pace was slow because walking fast caused quite a bit of pain near and below my knees; but in my mind, I was moving quickly. When I first heard that sentence about Khalil Daroga, I actually heard something else. Because my ears also have quite some troubles. Sometimes I cannot hear some words well. I had heard — ‘Khalil Daroga’s life went out with his laughter.’

Khalil Daroga’s laughter really was of a very frightening type. At the sound of his laugh, the pulses of many innocent people burst and their lives slipped away. I had seen the dreadful roar of his laugh; but in front of a truly terrifying person, his laugh was of no use; instead, his tiger-laugh and cat-laugh would turn into a mouse-laugh. One day, Khalil Daroga ruined his clothes inside the police station after hearing the laugh of the MP’s closest thug.

One day, after finishing the accounts at the shop, I was returning on my bicycle. It was a little late at night.

Khalil Daroga stopped me on the road — “Where are you going so late, what, why?”

I said, “I work in sales at a shop; I got late returning after finishing the accounts.”

He didn’t listen. He grabbed me. He slapped me hard on the ear. My ear started ringing. He took me to the police station and beat me. Since then, the pain in my knees began, and since then I have had trouble hearing.

If my shop owner hadn’t bailed me out early the next morning, who knows what would have happened. So, I thought maybe Khalil Daroga’s life had gone out with his laughter. The first day I heard his laugh, I thought his laugh was so terrifying that if Khalil Daroga himself, thinking he was innocent, ever heard his own laugh, he would surely die from a burst pulse.

Anyway, later, the person from whom I heard it said loudly the second time — “Not with the laughter, but with the sneeze Khalil Daroga’s life went out.”

Reaching the banana seller, I said, “Why did you stick the news about Khalil Daroga on the bananas? My son almost died while swallowing a banana.”

The banana seller said, “Sir, please don’t take it to heart. I have not forgotten the oppression Khalil Daroga inflicted on you. He treated many innocent people like that. I only stuck the words on the bananas of those who were unnecessarily humiliated by Khalil Daroga’s hand. So that everyone could be comforted hearing about his sneeze causing an accidental death.”

I said nothing more and started walking back home again.

Forty days after Khalil Daroga’s death, his wife and children went out on a picnic to a free, beautiful place. The banana seller had also stuck this news on my bananas.

Anif Rubed: Poet and writer of short story