Women's equal rights vs women's sense of duty

My strongest opinion regarding the establishment of women's equal rights is that to enjoy rights, one must fulfill duties. This is the rule. If a woman's status or the family's attitude towards her is not equal and respectful in society, the desire in women to fulfill their duties will not arise. If a woman is not regarded equal within the family, she will not develop self-confidence. The most urgent need for a woman is to acquire the ability and courage to make her own decisions. Without that, equal rights to property will only become a source of suffering for her.

Let me share from my own experience. My paternal grandmother received a good portion of my grandfather’s property. But she could not enjoy any part of it herself because she neither had the courage nor the right to make decisions regarding it. My grandfather used to make those decisions. Many might say these are stories from the past. Even if we talk about the present, I can give a few such examples. I know a woman who received a large share of her father’s property. After marriage, her husband managed everything. The man sold most of the property citing various business difficulties over time. Now, the woman has no property left to sustain herself. Meanwhile, her husband has taken preparations for another marriage. She has to accept all this because she has nowhere else to go. She cannot even stay at her brothers’ houses as she has already received the full shares of the property. I also know a female colleague who gives her entire salary to her husband. Many would say that many men give their entire salary to their wives. That is not also right. Everyone, regardless of gender, should have some arrangement of their own for themselves.

The biggest topic of discussion now should be the full rights and freedom of women as family members regarding food, education, expression of opinion, and decision-making. That is a major social movement. It cannot be established by law. You can enforce equal division of property by law. But you cannot legally force any father, brother, or husband to respect a daughter, sister, or wife or to give her the freedom to make decisions. You cannot legally force a mother or mother-in-law to feed her daughters and daughters-in-law the same amount of food as the sons of the family. The same applies to social restrictions. Even in this modern world, what percentage of women in our country are capable of making their own decisions, how many women have gained that courage? How many women can make decisions about their own property and assets themselves? How many women can enjoy and control their properties on their own? That is the biggest question here.

The situation or status of a few educated or progressive women in the city cannot be confused with the condition of the unfortunate women throughout Bengal. Women as members of society are divided into different classes. Not everyone has the same capacity, capability, or resources, nor do they all have the same social and family status. To ensure equal rights of women in property, these factors must be taken into account. But does that mean women will not get an equal share in property? Certainly, they will, I believe this is a birthright.

However, women must also learn the strategies to protect their property. This discussion is the most important. Women first need to gain the courage and ability to make decisions about themselves. A social environment must be created where parents can be cared for. Women’s education must be ensured 100 percent, and it should not be only on paper, but also in reality. I am talking about practical education. The main purpose of education is to create independent people with values. Here the question of duty arises. If a woman is not independent, she cannot fulfill her duties to her parents or family. Now if I take half of my father’s property but cannot help my father or mother in times of need, and instead look to my husband, that cannot happen. The property that the father has built with his blood and sweat should not be destroyed by the arbitrary actions of either the husband or the woman herself—this teaching is most necessary for women.

The main point is that it is extremely important for women that, first, they are established in the minds of their parents as equal to sons. Then, in any situation, to gain the ability and courage to stand firm in their position. Then, to be fully aware of their duties and responsibilities. Only after that can they claim an equal share in property. Receiving a share of paternal property is not an achievement; it is a birthright. But properly maintaining that property, using it appropriately, and increasing it when necessary is one’s own achievement. Before receiving an equal share in property, it is most important to develop this awareness about achievement. Creating women who can reach this level of thinking is the most crucial. This cannot be achieved by law. The law will take its own course, but the struggle for a woman to secure her own position is above the law. It is a long-term struggle; it is not external, but an inherent struggle of women. Here, the greatest weapon is true education.

My demand from parents is, besides ensuring daughters’ proper access to good food, clothing, and property rights, to ensure that daughters receive genuine education also. Giving property to an uneducated daughter rather pushes her into greater danger.

Women's Reform Commission has proposed reserving at least 300 seats for women out of the proposed total of 600 seats in the National Parliament to ensure women's equal status and participation in important state decisions. It is undoubtedly an urgent step to provide opportunities to the neglected classes in an unequal state system and bring them forward. However, I do not consider this system permanent; even though it temporarily creates opportunities for women, there remains a risk of devaluing qualified and popular individuals in important decisions.

Regarding women’s seats, the commission’s proposal states that an equal number of female representatives as men will be elected directly to parliament. Elections should be a system where qualified and popular individuals participate. More important than creating equal numbers of men and women is how aware and knowledgeable those who participate in elections are about law-making. Membership in parliament should be determined on this basis, not just by creating opportunities. If women’s qualifications and popularity exceed those of men, what harm is there if the number of female representatives is higher?

In response to this question, a counter-question may arise—has our society yet reached a state where, if given the choice between a woman and a man, people would choose the woman? Absolutely not. Even now, women are comparatively considered less competent and less capable than men in all fields, although women continue to prove their competence in every area.

My main point is actually here: the attitude of society towards women is a very deep-rooted issue. The change will come from within. Women themselves must develop an awareness of their own competence and capability from within. In our society, it is not only men who still harbor hatred towards women. Rather, women also harbor hatred and distrust towards themselves. There are a large number of women in our society who embrace patriarchy. The respect and trust these women have towards men are absent towards a person of their own kind. This is evident within families and workplaces. Actually, the quality of life for women and the status of women in society depend largely on the reform of women’s own mindset and consciousness. Let the law take its own course, and let women in every household reform themselves to keep pace with it and prepare to take on greater responsibilities and perform greater duties with dedication in the future.

Maria Salam: Journalist and Writer